I have a really low tolerance for discomfort. And while it might be reasonable to assume that a lot of people share in that, I’ve noticed that I have even less tolerance for discomfort with PTSD. That has really come into focus for me in the last week, post-river, and the realization has challenged me to think about whether I can develop a practice of tolerating discomfort that helps me to grow and to be a little less challenged by being in the world.
It was horribly windy here yesterday, and no way no how was I interested in leaving the house. I hate wind, it annoys me and tangles up my hair and gives me a headache. My 1% goal this week is to go for at least a 15 minute walk every day, and I’ve been doing that! But yesterday I was not about to get out for it, and contemplated whether marching in place in my house for 15 minutes would suffice.
Except that the point of the 1% goals is to develop the discipline and practice of doing things despite the inconvenience and discomfort they might present to me. It’s about not making excuses and slacking off because I don’t feel like it or it would be somewhat unpleasant or the conditions aren’t perfect or I’m busy.
So I bundled up and headed out on my normal trail, and nearly blew over a few times. I really hate being out in the wind, but I did it, and I didn’t spend the time complaining, I spent it listening to Dare to Lead and learning something.