Well the last week of the year isn’t going as planned…
My boyfriend’s spider bite from about two months ago turned into a serious infection on Christmas Eve, and for the last couple of days I’ve been keeping an eye on him and changing bandages while he deals with the side effects of heavy antibiotics.
PSA: Keep an eye on your insect/arachnid bites! Or they might come back to bite you…
I had some plans to review work, run around the great outdoors and have some fun, but that’s now looking like housekeeping and medication reminders. Sliding into the end of the year like…something. But we caught it fast enough and this is a lot better than a minor surgery or a hospital stay, and the time together has been good. I forgot to do yoga today but have otherwise kept to my 1% goals, which is a bit new for me as I tend to toss everything aside when I’m not at home. Seeing that I can keep up with my self-care is good!
The unexpected part of this is the flashbacks I’ve had to when my brother was in the hospital following his work accident and caring for him at home after. I don’t normally experience flashbacks, which is part of why it took a bit for me to be diagnosed with PTSD. Even before I went through EMDR I didn’t have flashbacks that I could identify as such at the time – unwanted mental images related to or caused by trauma. There was a lot I couldn’t stop thinking about, but it didn’t seem like a flashback. I’ve had clear flashbacks from medical care/wound care, which was a bit upsetting.
I’m grateful, however, that they are coming at a time that I’ve had a lot of practice with noticing how I feel and calming myself from a trigger. It wasn’t easy to deal with the images, but nor was it impossible or completely overwhelming or terrifying. I saw what it was, paused to breathe, thought through it and refocused my thoughts elsewhere – an intentional response that wouldn’t have been possible for me a year (or maybe even 6 months) ago.
I’m a little bit better.