I’ve been in the same high-pressure, performance-demanding work situation that a lot of people can relate to. Honestly, a lot of the pressure came from myself. I used to hit the ground running on January 2, determined to jump higher, run longer and perform better than anyone else in the new year.
Take a seat, old me.
There is a time and a place for pushing, but when your mind and body say it isn’t the time, then it really isn’t the time. With PTSD you may feel like it’s never the time, and that’s a challenge all in itself. But I think there is something really valuable in being in tune with where you are, when you are, and operating accordingly.
After spending what was supposed to be a fun holiday break taking care of an infected spider bite and sleeping much less every night than I need, it would have been more harmful than helpful for me to pop out of bed this morning charging forth at full speed. I needed sleep, I needed rest and I needed to take care of myself today and get back to neutral – a topic I’ll explore soon. So today, instead of demanding that I make all of my hours count toward project time and trying to blow through my entire to-do list in a morning (I really used to think and work that way!), I’m slow-rolling though the day.
Which gives me time and space for the things I need to happen most today.
I don’t need quick thought, I need deep thought and consideration. I don’t need canned solutions, I need really creative thinking about not only what I’m doing, but how I’m doing it. I don’t need to check boxes, I need to think carefully about what the boxes are and what their priority assignment is. I need time and space to start this year off right, because this year matters, and this year counts, and without the ability to manage PTSD better than I did last year, this year is not going to happen in a way that will be fulfilling and healthy for me.
So today is about doing what looks like loving myself, because that’s a really great way to start the work year.