I spent most of the afternoon trying to write up how I fell into the career I have and why I do what I do. I couldn’t even write a cohesive story.
I know that trauma disrupts narrative and memory, and this evolution of my career has happened in the middle of the trauma that changed my brain, but it has been painful to not be able to craft a cohesive, linear narrative of something that is fundamental to who I am.
It makes me feel like I’m failing at everything.
I tend to catastrophize situations, and that is exactly what I’m doing here, but I cannot seem to kick myself off the loop of not being able to acknowledge what’s good. I am making my own way, opening my own doors and having great response – and all I see is failure.
I don’t have the support I need from the people I need it from, and all I can see is failure.
I don’t have a clear path forward, and all I can see is failure.
I’m not quickly bouncing back from this or adapting to it, and all I can see is failure.
It’s for these moments that you need the practice of self-love and self-care. It’s for this that you need to be able to forgive yourself and give yourself some grace. It’s for this that you need the perspective that this is temporary and that you can hit the pause button before trying again. So that is what I will do – set down the article and the other things I feel I’m failing at – pause, then try again.

You can do it 💕 I believe in you. You are not a failure
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Muchas gracias! ❤
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Aww 😦 Remember that feelings are not reality, and you can FEEL like you’re failing at something even when the facts are that you’re not. I like the ideas at the end that you have for what to do about it. Maybe it could help to write down your accomplishments or something as a way to show yourself more concretely that you are not failing?
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I think I could benefit from more personal writing. I write so much for work that I don’t tend to do much personal.
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Okay, sounds like a good idea! Do you count blogging as personal writing? Because you do do that 🙂
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Haha, not until you pointed it out! But I think I could do more toward getting my processing on paper and I think that would help.
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Haha 🙂 Okay, sounds good! I find that writing out my train of thought in my journal really helps make things more concrete, put them into perspective, and helps me check the facts and my judgments.
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