If I Didn’t Have PTSD, I’d Have the Energy To…

I met a new acquaintance for lunch yesterday. It was really nice, and this person and I have a lot in common.

She was relating some of her life and interests to me, and I found myself silently wondering how she found time to do it all? She has a demanding job, a family, wide social circles and several hobbies and interests. She wasn’t flaunting her lifestyle, she was sharing where and in what she finds meaning, and I thought it all very cool.

But how does she do that?

The question stayed with me yesterday as I thought about work/life balance, what it takes to invest in meaningful relationships, time spent traveling around the area to support interests and relationships, then back to wondering how other people do it?

Then is dawned on me that I don’t live like that because so much of my energy is taken up with PTSD.

I’m going to have to think on this one a bit and get back to y’all.

woman sitting in front of body of water
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

8 thoughts on “If I Didn’t Have PTSD, I’d Have the Energy To…

  1. I too, often wonder how people keep moving and keeping all the balls up in the air. Then I think back to when I used to be able to do the same thing. I didn’t realize it back then, but I had been suppressing my past and not facing it. Or the memories were so horrid, that they literally fell into the cracks.
    It took years of intensive therapy to realize what I had actually done to myself. Every bad situation ended up being swept under the carpet until the shit hit the fan.
    I now allow myself to feel every emotion. The good, bad, and the ugly. No more sweeping, I face everything daily and try to cope.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Haha, I think “I’m too old for this” is a great motivator!

          It’s been disheartening that after therapy, so much work (so much money!), coming to terms with myself and my trauma, being determined to learn and grow and change for the better from this, etc. etc. I’m still having periods of barely holding it together. And I hear you, I used to be able to do it all too, then that fell to pieces when I did and I don’t think it’s coming back! And maybe that’s a good thing? But I’d still like to be able to put my energy into things I find fulfilling rather than having it sucked up by my broken brain.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Ashley, we are all a work in progress, even people that don’t suffer from what we do.
            Unfortunately, we feel it much deeper.
            Every day is filled with little baby steps, embrace those steps, own it!
            Again, it’s a rough road, but you will get through it. (eventually). Be kind to yourself, listen to your litte inner voice when you need to step back and take a break. It’s all about balance.

            Liked by 1 person

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