I still have a blog, I still have my web domain, I still have PTSD, and I’m really grateful that I have people who read my blog, comment, like posts, send me encouragement and support and find my thoughts and experiences to be valuable and helpful.
I am still in the middle of an overwhelming life transition and am staring a very hard next two months in the face. I have over-committed for September and October in ways that don’t make me money or bring me joy, but in ways that I anticipate will provide learning, growth, struggle, hurt and ultimately a greater appreciation for what I have and how I got here. I could just drop everything and back out, and that is really tempting, but I’m going to try not to.
Ironically my blog design has auto-changed to a coffee template after not renewing my premium plan, and while my initial thought was that it doesn’t reflect me at all, I really love coffee, my love of coffee has been negatively impacted by my PTSD-driven need to reduce my caffeine intake to almost none, coffee has a traumatic history, coffee can serve as a gathering point for community, and I will be meeting people for coffee in the morning as part of a long two days of showing up and trying to move the needle on my life in a direction I WANT it to go, versus the way I let it go without my input or permission.
Coffee is complicated. PTSD is complicated. My life is complicated. I’m going to change the look of my blog as I have the time and energy, and in the meantime I’ll work on converting the next two months of my experience into intelligible written form in the hope that as I grow and heal I might be able to open a path to others who are also wanting to grow and heal.