I woke up with a painful sore throat. I’m now definitely sick, and although I don’t have the congestion of a cold, I don’t feel well, and did not have a good day for not feeling well.
I am on the road all day tomorrow, and needed to get my oil changed ahead of that, so I finally crept out of the house after lunch, determined to appear not sick while I waited at the oil change place. The oil change turned into concerns about my brake fluid, which turned into a trip down the street to brakes place, which turned into a couple hours of waiting while they fit me in, checked out my car, flushed the brake fluid and discovered that my ABS unit is failing and needs to be replaced ASAP.
The car is not going on a trip tomorrow. The car is not going much of anywhere until I get the part replaced.
Having survived on car wreck, I am grateful to have been likely saved from another, but it did bring up car wreck feelings and concerns and sudden expenses and needing alternate vehicles and car swapping and last-minute changes and coordinating. And I still had a meeting downtown at 5:30.
I borrowed my mom’s car and was hustling down the freeway to make my meeting when my mom called to let me know I was about to hit a massive storm with high winds, and to be careful.
I wrecked on a rainy day. I was driving a vehicle that tends to slightly hydroplane on wet roads. I was already exhausted, sick and had dealt with car issues all day that are still unresolved. I have a 500-mile drive tomorrow. I have to go meet with a graduate student I’m mentoring, and be ON, because I’m the mentor. And I see the wall of water up ahead that I am about to hit in this car I don’t normally drive.
I was ready to quit and go home, and cancel the meeting. It was probably raining downtown anyway, and I was going to have to walk at least a block to my meeting.
But I didn’t quit. Maybe it’s the yoga, maybe it’s the transition to a new job, maybe it’s not being willing to let fear win, maybe it’s knowing that quitting establishes a pattern I don’t want, maybe it was the call to my support system to help me stay calm and focused. Maybe it was all of the things. Severe anxiety takes serious tools!
But I made my meeting, I was on time, it was excellent, it was helpful for her, it was helpful for me, the rain cleared and on the drive home I had a big, beautiful double rainbow to enjoy. Yes, that really happened.