Settling Into a Sense of Peace

The rolling waves of life keep swiping at me, but I’ve come to a sense of peace and calm despite it all. Those little steps get you farther than you think they will, keep taking them.

I’ve had to cancel several things this week because I’m still sick, and no one wants to be around my cough. My resting heart rate is really high, my car needs an expensive new part before I can safely drive it, clients haven’t paid their invoices and I have an awful lot to get done next week ahead of starting my new job.

It’ll work out the way it works out.

I have a difficult time with the concept of acceptance. In some of the Yoga with Adrienne videos I practice to, she discusses acceptance and it all sort of sounds really nice, and maybe it sounds like an admirable goal to others, but I struggle with it. As a trauma survivor, I really don’t like the notion. Why should I have to accept trauma? So many people have had harms perpetrated against them, why should they accept that? Why should I accept the massive disruption to my life and the daily battles?

Are you kidding me???

But on reflection, I don’t think it’s that. I don’t think the message is to accept harm and trauma. I think it’s to practice accepting circumstances and limitations that are beyond our control. I’m sick and coughing and not able to do much, and I can fight it or I can accept it and make peace with it. My finances are pinched right now, and I can blame everyone else and ignore reality, or I can make a careful assessment of where I am, prioritize my spending accordingly and ask for help if I need it. I can rail against the missed meetings and the unproductive time, or I can accept that my body needs rest, and other people don’t want my germs. I can make peace with my time and energy being needed in a way that is different than I had planned. I can beat my body up and push it to bend to my will, or I can thank it for carrying me this far and take good care of it so that it can keep carrying me farther.

If you struggle with the notion of acceptance, take some time to get curious about the aspects of acceptance that don’t work for you, and see if there are aspects that do. Begin building a practice (because it can take time and effort!) of accepting yourself. Acceptance doesn’t mean not wanting or working toward better, it means making peace with where you are and what you can do now so that when you do reach better you’re able to fully celebrate and enjoy it.

apartment bed carpet chair
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