I’m saying “no” to things for the foreseeable future. No new things, no guilt things, no extra things, just “no”. I can’t, I need time to heal from the last few months.
It’s hard to navigate my new job and the constant and shifting demands. I get overwhelmed, I get stuck, things are a little more challenging to process and understand than I want them to be. I’m still doing fine, I answer the phone and return calls, I get work done on time, I show up before most of the rest of the office and I frequently work through lunch, which I often bring with me after eating breakfast.
It’s a big deal to be pulled together and getting out of bed on time to get dressed and eat breakfast and pack my lunch. Some of y’all know this.
I’m having my normal been going to hard too long symptoms of visual and auditory hallucinations, panic attacks, cognitive impairment and things getting really hard at the end of the day when the distractions of a busy day wind down.
It’s really cold here at the moment, and that’s led me to be really, really grateful. I may experience PTSD symptoms, but I get to do it in a warm house. I get to eat, and eat good food. I have a comfortable bed. I can call for help. I have clean clothes. I can shower when I want. I’m not alone. That is so much, and such a gift.