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HRV Said Rest, I Didn’t. Damn.

We had a family crisis yesterday, and it didn’t need to involve me, so I didn’t get involved. I continued on with my plans, had a nice afternoon and was tired and in bed fairly early. It still affected me, however, and when I woke up this morning my HRV reading was significantly lower than…

Practicing Discomfort

I have a really low tolerance for discomfort. And while it might be reasonable to assume that a lot of people share in that, I’ve noticed that I have even less tolerance for discomfort with PTSD. That has really come into focus for me in the last week, post-river, and the realization has challenged me…

Ouch, Shame Trigger

Sometimes in the course of my work I write documents that are part of public hearings or public policy. They’re usually not controversial. Usually. A document I wrote a few months ago has turned out to be quite controversial for a small group of self-interested people, who have threatened legal action, whined to their industry…

A Moment of Thanks to Strong Lotus Yogi

I think one of the benefits of pausing to be grateful and reflect on positives is that it helps with perspective. I’ve struggled so much through the last few months, and living with PTSD can be a pretty hopeless situation. I’ve felt that I just can’t so many times, and taking steps in recovery have at…

Pause and Reflect

I was spinning my wheels at work yesterday, mentally working on several projects and ideas but not making any tangible progress. A lot of my work is with data, and I collect data on myself too – I carefully track hours I work and wear a Fitbit and monitor my HRV. Sometimes to my detriment.…

1% Attempt #2

I did it! My goal has been to slowly begin to improve in areas that I have not been able to achieve goals. One is exercise, another is having a well-exercised design muscle. This past week I wanted to do 10 kettlebell lifts and one little bit of design every day. I only missed Saturday,…

1% Failure

Last week I had a new goal to improve by 1% every day. Not in an actually measurable way, but to make small, incremental steps toward bigger goals. I had two things that I wanted to do every day last week, and this week would have two more things that were a step up of…