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It Was a Mistake Not to Rest After EMDR

EMDR is intense, even when it’s not successful. I know I need to rest for several hours after, but I did not do that this week, choosing to work instead. Bad idea. Three days later, I have a severe anxiety, am feeling overwhelmed, my sleep has been disrupted and my resting heart rate has shot…

EMDR Round 2

This round was not successful either, although we may know a lot more about why this time. I wrote about Round 1 last week if you want to read what happened last time. PTSD is tricky, and brains are complicated. I had another flashback last night, and while I am not finding my experience with…

All Else is Failing, So Rest

One of the best things that has come out of my long journey out of numbing is that I am so much more aware of how I feel and when I need to make rest a priority. I often don’t, and that is still a challenge to work on, but I can at least recognize…

Not Yet Success with EMDR

I’m not sure that it’s disappointment I feel, but this morning’s EMDR session was not successful for me. I had trouble holding the three things together in my mind, and I had a flashback while we were setting up the sequence. The session did reveal new information about how my body holds trauma, and I…

Go The F*uck Away

I’m having EMDR tomorrow morning, and while I remember very little about the first time I had it done, and I have no negative memories of the process, I’m about as nervous as one might be the day before a procedure. I might be afraid it may not work? My mom and my boyfriend have…

Capable in the Face of the Latest Storm

This week is insane.My boyfriend is having a meltdown about moving and about his family.My grandma is having a meltdown about moving to a nursing home. She doesn’t do unknown well at all and can’t figure out how she’s going to eat.My family is emotional about grandma moving to a nursing home and she’s decided…

Back to Therapy for EMDR – Update

I’m back in therapy after an incident while driving that has caused me a lot of problems. We were planning to start the eye movement process today, but when we got to the step of creating a safe space and defining that clearly, I had a lot of emotion. It was because I don’t feel…