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I’m Good, And Far From Great

I’m becoming very uncomfortable in my cocoon. It’s apparently usual for people who have experienced trauma (and those of us who have had our brains wrecked by it) to cocoon themselves in some way to protect from further trauma. Sometimes that can look like gaining weight (me) and sometimes that can look like staying at…

Working Back Up

I fall down a lot. Not literally, I wouldn’t describe myself as a clumsy person, but I mentally and emotionally fall down a lot. Sometimes big falls, sometimes small, but a lot, and frequently. Sometimes I straight up bust my ass. And I get back up. Every. Single. Time. If I fell down this much…

Trying to Be Patient

I’ve got a pretty busy week, with a lot of public appearances for work, a very important presentation and a lot of triggers going on. I have the tools, I have support, and I need the patience to use them and wait it out. Things can shift so quickly for me. I can be triggered…

The Things We Do For Love

My therapist told me it is good for me to not avoid doing things that trigger anxiety for me, because my brain gets rewarded for avoiding and not avoiding will get subsequently much harder with each time I avoid. This is not true for everyone, and is true or me only after a lot of…

Being in the Public Eye with PTSD

I’ve been hiding at home for the better part of 5 years. I finished two master’s degrees following my car wreck, in programs that were at a major university and required you to be present for all classes, and I didn’t miss a class. I also worked retail during that time, so I talked to…