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Not Yet Success with EMDR

I’m not sure that it’s disappointment I feel, but this morning’s EMDR session was not successful for me. I had trouble holding the three things together in my mind, and I had a flashback while we were setting up the sequence. The session did reveal new information about how my body holds trauma, and I…

Go The F*uck Away

I’m having EMDR tomorrow morning, and while I remember very little about the first time I had it done, and I have no negative memories of the process, I’m about as nervous as one might be the day before a procedure. I might be afraid it may not work? My mom and my boyfriend have…

I Hate Being Uncomfortable

Which is pretty much my day-to-day with PTSD. However, there are versions of uncomfortable that are more and less tolerable for me. One of the least tolerable is…wait for it…yoga. Yoga puts me into a lot of uncomfortable positions that my body does not want to do. And it makes me uncomfortable. And often angry.…

Seasonal Habit Change

I had forgotten until yesterday that about this time of year I used to do something a bit drastic or challenging for about a month, just to shake things up, try something new or put focus into something I wanted to accomplish. On year I lost 20 lbs (yes, in one month), one year I…

Perspective on Check Boxes

Look not at what you haven’t accomplished, as though someone else’s set of check boxes would be fulfilling for you. Look instead at the mountains you’ve conquered, the boulders you’ve moved and the strength you’ve built from pushing against the past. You are powerful, and you are enough. accomplishaffirmationbe kind to yourselfbe youcheck boxesconquer mountainscouragehealingintentionlean…

Testing Out “For Better or For Worse”

I’ve never been married. The closest I got ended in a relationship nuclear explosion, so my prior experience with long-term was not a great one. Worse definitely went worst. In the relationship I’m in now we have definitely been testing out “for worse” in our circumstances. Me having PTSD, him rebuilding his life after loss,…

Run a Mile or Run for 3 Minutes

A person I greatly admire and respect told me that you can run a mile and see how long it takes, or you can run for three minutes and see how far you go, but you cannot run a 3 minute mile. Those words changed my life and how I view myself. That was in…