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Waking Up Has Become the Enemy

I’ve heard “positive vibes” statements that go something along the lines of, “Every day you wake up is a good day.” I disagree, because PTSD causes my waking up to sometimes be horrifyingly bad. I tend to go through about three different sleep cycles, depending on my stress levels, how we’ll I’m managing symptoms and…

“Just Breathe”, But You Can’t

Just: Breathe Calm down Don’t worry about it Don’t let it bother you Smile Think positive Have a better attitude Think about something else Don’t be so negative Try harder Be grateful that —. Those words are so dismissive of the experience of people with PTSD. And we know. We know those things. We’d like…

It Was a Mistake Not to Rest After EMDR

EMDR is intense, even when it’s not successful. I know I need to rest for several hours after, but I did not do that this week, choosing to work instead. Bad idea. Three days later, I have a severe anxiety, am feeling overwhelmed, my sleep has been disrupted and my resting heart rate has shot…

Struggling Through Feeling Like…Not Enough

I am particularly susceptible to feeling like I’m not enough. It was the overwhelming message growing up. It didn’t matter what I did, it was never enough. I couldn’t be good enough, smart enough, friendly enough, responsible enough, or ever perform well enough. I was sensitive so I was deemed weak, I was smart but…