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Detour, Again

After I just talked about going for it, I got in a car to ride to a wedding and had some of the worst re-experiencing I’ve had in a long time. It sent me on a day-long downward spiral, and between the panic last night and the anxiety today, it’s been a rough 24 hours.…

Ready to Just Go For It

PTSD can be such an overwhelming barrier to┬áliving. I now have to weigh my actions carefully, consider whether I have the energy or capacity to do whatever it is I want to or need to do, have an exit strategy if I get overwhelmed and can’t handle the situation I’m in, build in rest days…

Struggling Through Feeling Like…Not Enough

I am particularly susceptible to feeling like I’m not enough. It was the overwhelming message growing up. It didn’t matter what I did, it was never enough. I couldn’t be good enough, smart enough, friendly enough, responsible enough, or ever perform well enough. I was sensitive so I was deemed weak, I was smart but…

Small Steps Toward Health & Balance

I got really overwhelmed by work yesterday and today. Work stress has me reaching for some of my least healthy ways to cope, and I have a long history of working late and ignoring what is healthy for me. Life/work balance? I don’t even begin to know what that means. But at 5:00, in the…

Sometimes You Have to Release the Protectors

I didn’t have enough time to fully recover this weekend, and I expended a lot more energy than I could afford on Friday and Saturday. Usually that leads to severe PTSD symptoms for me, which can include anxiety, cognitive impairment, panic attacks, difficulty sleeping or getting quality sleep, loss of executive function (prioritizing and scheduling)…