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Workout Then Panic

PTSD can be such a rough go. My brain connects me having an elevated heart rate with threat of death, and I’m guessing my heart rate was pretty high during my car wreck. I’ve previously had the experience of having a panic attack during or after a workout (why I haven’t worked out much beyond…

Learning to Wait

My dumpster fire of a life has just conflated to a bonfire, and things continue to not go well. It’s almost comical at this point, except that somewhere in the chaos and gritting my teeth, it really hurts. I’m watching a lot of things I’ve worked really hard for burn up in front of me,…

Nothing To Do But Work and Wait

I’m not sure how the majority of my life has blown up in my face in the last eight days, but here I am. I’m sure at some point in the future I will look back on this fortnight with perspective wrought by time and I won’t mind so much, because I will have learned…

How Far Do You Go To Help?

I like to help. Historically, however, I’ve gone too far in helping. What I mean by that is that I’ve exhausted my own resources and not set healthy boundaries in taking others’ problems on myself. While it gave me meaning, it has been an unhealthy behavior pattern that has compromised my own health and well-being…

Staring at a Week of Failure

Spin it any way you want, re-frame it as a learning opportunity or a period of growth, I failed hard this week at so many things. From missing a speaking engagement to firing a client to massive communication failures to not getting paid, I took a beating this week, and a lot of it comes…

I Did Not See That Coming

I fired a client on Tuesday, but followed up with an email today. In no way did I expect his response, which came just minutes later: I just finished reading your email, I am saddened but, I completely understand your stance. I want to thank you for your involvement up to this point and it…